What I’ve learned from wasting my teenage years and… “YOLO”
I’ve wasted my teenage years. And I regret it. If I don’t do anything different, I might end up wasting my twenties as well.
I was your typical sheltered kid who led an entitled life. I’m not from a rich family but people from my generation led a life of entitlement. I believe this is even more true for the generations after.
Teenagers (like myself when I was one, seven years ago) don’t realise how lucky they are to be young, full of energy and to have the capacity to learn and pick up things a lot faster than adults.
The teenagers from the less fortunate backgrounds are for another day to talk about, but in this piece, I want to talk about us — the privileged.
I want to share three main realisations I’ve made after reflecting on my wasted teenage years. Hopefully, this can help teenagers, young adults in their twenties like myself, and maybe even the older readers. Also, some ending thoughts about the “YOLO” culture.
1. Youth is wasted on the young
“Youth is wasted on the young.” — George Bernard Shaw
Because the youngsters do not know that their youth is on a timer. A timer that ticks faster than they can imagine and realise. When the timer sounds off, it often ends up with regret. Just like me.
When you’re in your teenage years, young and energetic, it is ironic how we don’t want to do much with our lives. And by “much” it means things that are meaningful, to others and to ourselves. Things that help us fulfill our dreams. Things that help us transform into the person we aspire to become.
I personally spent too much time on very short-lived happiness — games, casual friendships without effort, binging on junk food, throwing my temper at things I don’t even remember the next day, doing nothing just because I could.
When I was faced with important tasks and opportunities to improve myself, which often required effort, I often procrastinated, made excuses for myself, or give up before even processing what I needed to do. Which brings me to the next thing I realised.
2. Difference between what you want and need to do, and “YOLO”
When I was in my teenage years, I kept focusing on what I want, and too little on what I need. I wouldn’t want to pin all the blame on technology, on society, on my teachers, I want to take responsibility.
Because I had friends who were faced with the same temptations but they managed to focus on what they needed to do, and delayed their wants. I could only blame myself for not being sensible. I blame myself for believing too much in “YOLO”, “You Only Live Once”.
Let’s face it, even if our parents, our teachers and seniors were to give us a lecture of what we need to do, we wouldn’t. In fact, most of us ended up doing the exact opposite of what the more experienced said to us. That’s the rebellious nature of the privileged, that’s the “YOLO” excuse.
We think by doing what we want, we are owning our lives. Little did we know, we were ruining our youth. Of course, those who manage to realise along the way get to pick themselves up. But there are people in their twenties whom I know still living in their pipedream of “this is my life and I do what I want”. Because “YOLO”, right?
It is precisely because “You Only Live Once”, you need to take control of your life and build your future, building block by building block. It’s precisely because “You Only Live Once”, you need to stop giving yourself excuses to do what you want and start thinking about the things you need to do.
When you realise the urgent and pressing need to start doing what youneed to do, youth is no longer your asset. Youth would have become your liability. So much time had been wasted you might end up deciding to give up altogether. You will be thinking, “Where did all my years of youth disappear to? What have I been doing with my life?”
3. Time seems to slip away because I had done too little for my future
It was during the start of my twenties when I started to think that I had to stop living the way I did.
As a Singaporean, I had to serve two years of national service in the army. I would say I am kind of grateful for that two years, it was when I did some serious self-reflection.
I realised that I had done so little for my future, which was one of the main reasons why it felt like my teenage years just disappeared. There weren’t much memories I could be proud of. I did manage to get a few gold medals under my belt during the symphonic band days, but that was pretty much it.
I idled my elementary, middle and high school life away doing nothing much to be proud of. I barely scraped past my examinations for the most part of it. Even my diploma could be considered a close shave.
It was only when I started being serious about improving myself, taking concrete and practical steps to be a better person, putting in more effort in everything I did, was I able to have memories I can be proud of. It was when I decided to do a lot more for my future, life started to make sense.
I am by no means anywhere near success, yet. But looking at how much I’ve grown and improved from the person I was, it is indeed motivating. If you happen to be in the same position as I am — in your twenties and realising you’ve wasted your teenage years and in risk of wasting your twenties — please start taking action.
Even if regret is hitting you had now, you don’t want to look back and think about the “might have”, you want to look forward to the “could be” and work towards that. Time is an invaluable and finite resource. It slips away really fast but it will disappear even faster if you don’t start taking actions to help you become the person you aspire to be.
